I know, you are probably all scratching your heads as to why I’d be a) writing an open letter even though I loathe when others write them, and b) writing an open letter to a Major League Baseball player. My friend TJ tagged me in a post on facebook about a way we could keep T-Plush in Milwaukee even though he won’t be back on the Brewers roster next season. It got me thinking, and on behalf of TJ and myself, I’d like to make a public plea to Mr. Morgan to trade in that baseball bat for a hockey stick.
Dear Mr. T-Plush, can I call you that? Perhaps Mr. Morgan would be more appropriate at the moment …
My name is Stephanie, and I am a hockey writer living in the great city of Milwaukee. I am deeply saddened to hear you will not be playing with the Brewers this coming season, but after a long weekend of pause and reflection, I’ve decided to come right out and make a public plea for you to stay in the Brew City and join the Milwaukee Admirals as a left winger.
Let us take a trip down memory lane. Remember when you watched the 1988 Olympics and it inspired you to put on a pair of skates and give ice hockey a shot? You made your way through the ranks to the play with the WHL Regina Pats? Yes it was only seven games… but still! Imagine if you would have followed your dreams to professional hockey stardom! You could’ve made it to the big show, your name could be on the cup! You could have single-handedly prevented the NHL lockout, because I’m sure Slick Willie would’ve handled lockout negotiations better than the two yuc… well, we won’t get into that. This is supposed to be a spirited letter about keeping you in Milwaukee, not one that would cause me to throw my laptop out the window.
Speaking of Slick Willie, don’t you fret. We’ve got plenty of people who’d be more than happy to cat sit while you are away on road trips. Will that person be me? Absolutely not, as I am allergic to cats and I don’t think Slick Willie would appreciate someone in a hazmat suit trying to pet him.
While we are on the topic of road trips, lets get started on the reasons why it’s cooler to play hockey than baseball (see what I did there? Cooler… ice… moving on). As an MLB player, you’re schedule consists of about 700 games packed into a teeeeeeeeeeeny tiny five month window (700 might be exaggerating just a bit, but seriously, you guys play a lot of games). In the AHL, you play 76 games, 38 at home and 38 on the road. Since the Admirals have played approximately 98% of this season on the road thus far (again, that’s a guesstimate) , you will be able to enjoy the luxury of playing on home ice repeatedly through March! When you do have to travel, you’ll be riding in style. Because seriously, who doesn’t love sitting on a coach bus full of hockey players for five and a half hours on the way back from the booming metropolis of Peoria, IL?
Did I mention some of the other perks of playing for the Admirals? Like the one about Nyjer Morgan slash T-Plush bobblehead night? Picture it, well actually no you don’t need to picture because I took the liberty of photoshopping a pair of bobbleheads for you. You’re welcome, by the way.
Sharks head coach Todd McClellan and NHL super star Joe Thorton both gave you good reviews when you skated with the team back in February. Since the NHL is locked out for god knows how long, you’ll have plenty of time to polish up those shootout skills that McClellan may have mentioned in his interview Mike Shumann…
You said it yourself, you like hockey better. So come, Mr. Plush, come back to the ice. I mean, c’mon, who really enjoys standing out in the 100 degree sun for 3 hours wondering if a fist-sized ball of leather is going to come anywhere in your vicinity. Not this gal. And if you STILL aren’t sold on making the switch, just look at these two pictures: look at the sullen face in this baseball photo… now look at this million dollar smile in this hockey photo.
I rest my case. See you at the rink.
P.S – Admirals fans, hockey fans, brewers fans… ANY FANS – Sign the petition to Put T. Plush in an Admirals Uniform! Ban together and sway him to come back to the rink!